Favourite oneliners from "Once Upon A Time in Mumbaai"......

Not that fussy when it comes to movies, neither am I a great fan of Hollywood or Bollywood movies. But there are few films which I would love to watch whenever I get an opportunity to watch one… Well, not a big fan again for love stories but would like to watch Action, Thriller, Drama, Ski-Fi, Comedy (and at times Horror) and subjects relating to that.

Always was fascinated with the underworld movies especially when the subject was well directed and presented to the audience. I am sure many who love this subject would like films like Satya, Black Friday etc. Well, that’s my taste…

A recent movie by Milan Luthria, “Once Upon A Time in Mumbaai” was seen in the theatre on the second week of its release and I loved it.. Not because it was Ekta Kapoor – I hate her a lot and most of my fella sensible thinkers might agree to it after the impact she has on today’s female television audience with her crappy serials. Not because of Ajay Devgan, Emraan Hashmi or Kangana as I am not fond of either of their acting skills… But only and only because of the wonderful dialogues and the story line by Rajat Arora (probably I started knowing him after this film).

The film, set primarily in the 1970s Mumbai, follows the rise of Sultan (Ajay Devgan) and the conflict that crops up when Shoaib (Emraan Hashmi) challenges his supremacy and usurps power to rule the murky underbelly of Mumbai. The film is presented in a retro chic style and is a glamorous and powerful rewind to a golden era. This movie is seen through the eyes of a police officer Agnel Wilson (Randeep Hooda) traces the changing face of Mumbai’s underworld and how the entire episode started way back in the 70’s.

The leading roles in the film are played by Ajay Devgan, Emraan Hashmi, Kangana Ranaut, Prachi Desai and Randeep Hooda. Ajay’s character is inspired from the real don Haji Mastan. Emraan Hashmi plays Dawood Ibrahim in younger days.

Guess what!!! The time I was returning from my recent London trip (Dec 10), I got an opportunity to watch this film as it was a part of Jet Airways entertainment facility. Since I was at my leisure and had no other work for the next 8 ½ hrs, started watching this movie…. Midway watching this movie, something weird clicked me and I started penning down few of the one lines passed in this film. Yup!! This indeed might sound weird to few but that crazy thing led me write this blog… It is still fun going through the lines..

 

·       Jab dost banakar kaam ho sakta hai to dushman kyo banaye!

·      Mein har kaam paise ke liye nahi karta....

·      Patrick, ye samandar hai jo sabhi mulko ko aapas mein milata hai. Iski leheron par kabza kar liya to hamara jahaz kabhi nahi dubega.....

·      Bachpan mein kaam karti thi kyoki lagta tha saab khel hai. Aab kaam kar rahi hoon kyoki khelneki umar nahi rahi....

·      Jinki manzil ek hoti hai woh raaste par hi to milte hai....

·      Besabar aadmi jaban bhi chala leta hai aur khaneka maja bhi nahi le pata...

·      Meine suna hai, do log milke ghar bana lete hai – hum jashan nahi mana sakte....

·      Duva mein yaad rakhna....

·      Garam joshi achchi chiz hai. Lekin aagar hadd se badh jaye to khud ko jala leti hai.

·      Aagar kisi chij ki laath pad jaye, to woh laath aadmi ki pechhan ban jati hai.

·      Kya Khan, 18 saalo mein kabhi prasad nahi khaya aur aaj bhagwan hi badal dala.

·      Humari tasveer kheenchkar apni dukaan mein laga lena, Soheb. Agar jarurat pade to dono mein se ek bhagwan chun lena.

·      Zindagi ho to smuggler jaisi, saari duniya raakh ki tarah neeche aur khud dhuve ki tarah upar.

·      Naya naya Mulla, Aallah Aallah bahut karta hai....

·      Sher se hull chaaloge to kisan to marega hi....

·      Himmat batayi nahi, dikhayi jaati hai....

·      Koyle ki khan mein, mashaal se roshni karne chala tha… Charo taraf aag lag gayi.

·      Vardhan, mein un chizo ki smuggling karta hoon jinki ijazat sarkar nahi deti – un chijo ki nahi jinki ijazat jameer nahi deta.

·      Mein apni zindagi ka tarika badalne ja raha hoon, tevar nahi.

·      Jab tak naali mein keel nahi lagti, har ghoda khachar hi lagta hai.

·      Ab supari li hai to chuna nahi lagaunga.

·      Jab se hosh sambhala hai, meine kaam hi wahi kiya hai, jiski sarkar anumati nahi deti.

·      Is sawal ka jawab de diya to sawal bura maan jayega.

Hope you have enjoyed it!!!

Worst interview...

I had been to an interview couple of years back to a small to medium sized pharmaceutical company – well that was what the website and the consultant portrayed. It would not be kind enough to disclose the name of the company as you would understand why.. The experience was hilarious and worth penning down. With my resume uploaded on few job portals, interview calls and emails from many placement agencies did continuously visited my inbox. It was a requirement for a Divisional Head – International Marketing at this organisation, a position seen quite often on various portals and many placement agencies contacted me for this opportunity.

One fine day, the placement agency called me to discuss about this opportunity. On inquiring about the job profile and the brief about the company, I thought of considering it as it had been quite some time I had been to any interview and wanted to brush up my interview giving skills. Since this pharmaceutical company was not of the well offs, took the opportunity to Google it to get some more insights about this organization.

A family run organisation this organisation, is having their presence in quite a few countries and have a good range of product basket – at least what is reflected on the website. With this attractive website, was impressed with this company and thought of evaluating this opportunity further. Finalized my interview on the very next day at 10:00 am at Matunga. Thankfully I have a very casual approach to interviews and do not get tensed as seen many do. Being in an MNC for almost 5 years now and my entire corporate career with reputed organizations, I always had the image of a well structured and organized work place. This image came crashing big time when I entered into an old structured building and saw the name plate of the organisation on the ground floor of a 3 storied old structured chawl. By this time, I had already made up my mind not to be a part of this company. After a long pause approached the entrance of thinking that this might open doors of exploring my contacts and working on a consultancy basis / retainership basis, if any lucrative opportunity after discussing with the owners.

On me entering the office, I could see the 5’ x 7’ reception with four plastic chairs meant for sitting… For almost 45 minutes, no sign of the HR Head I was just accumulating my patience wondering how can one work in this place where there is constant chatterbox of the office boys and lorry drivers bringing their challans (delivery receipts) to be stamped and signed. The treatment given to a senior positioned candidate was horrifying as I was sitting next to these lorry drivers (no offense to them as such) in a non A/c room hoping that they will make me wait in any of the meetings rooms. By 10:45 am, the HR Head entered the office and by 11:00 am could get an opportunity to see a room which was termed as “Meeting Room”. My long patient wait was over. With no apologies for late coming she started the conversation.. I was puzzled and surprised to listen to the Head of HR and her communication skills. The MTI (mother tongue influence) was very much reflected in her speech and she couldn’t complete her statements smoothly.

On giving a brief about the company, I understood that the company is not having a manufacturing unit and are purely doing business on Loan Licensing / Third Party Manufacturing. To the best of my recollection, the company did touch Rs. 80 crore that year without having any proper organisation structure. The owners of the company were the sole responsible for revenue generation and new business development for their company. This position was expected to then going to recruit a team for International Marketing and Sales – as any growing organisation would take a step towards growth and structure it as per industry norms.

After the general chat which normally is the case with HR, I expected her to route me to the owners of the company for further talks on this opportunity. Instead, she had other plans for me L.... I was showered with questions (in her style) on the sales strategies and was checking my thoughts and ideas to handle International business. Well... here the fun started – rather at that time it was frustrating but could then relate the funny part of it.

The first one asked was “What is the value addition you will bring to the organization?” – Valid question. Conveyed the fact that with such an experience into international markets, can explore the expertise and contacts in generating business.

This was followed with another hit question and the quality of questions started deteriorating one after the other – possibly it were a standard set of questions she had prepared for all interviews, senior or junior level management. What will be the additional revenue you will generate if you are given the opportunity? Well... a question which normally is expected from the Sales Director and not an HR Head... It was quite obvious and at that point in time very difficult to quantify it as it very much depended on many factors like the list of products, the type and quality of infrastructure the organization has, the manufacturing capabilities, and many more. But I narrated the same emphasising on the fact that any number might be difficult to say at this moment. She emphasized on giving me a % growth and additional revenue if they recruit me... Well, it was too much for a caliber of HR Head to understand the fundamentals of International Sales and ask such a question. But after she started to chew the same question on and on, I commented – if you have excellent product range and worthy customers to cater to and have got proper registrations done for these products there are chances of giving a growth of 25% over and above the existing business”. By looking at her face, I concluded that she was not happy with the answer. She authoritatively mentioned, “We are looking for a person who can get the business from 80 crore to 800 crore”. With her response, I did not know whether to jump off the chair. From 80 crore to 800 crore – I was flattered with the commend she had when she commented this statement. I was about to ask her, if a person is confident enough to give a growth to any business by 10 fold, he definitely will not be stupid enough to work for an organization like this one – instead the person shall start his own trading business and return the bank debits in less than a year. Instead I humbly commented, “I would rather be realistic than over optimistic in my answers”.

I thought enough is enough and I really cannot take any more. But it seems that the HR Head was quite keen in continuing this interview. There came another question, “What steps will you take in growing the team and what will be the steps in growing the business”. I did not have much to say but gave a sarcastic smile. She was very keen in getting an answer from me so I forcefully commented that it will be a team of 5 with 2 as product managers, 1 for export documentation and 1 for MIS and will depend on the budget allocated for staff management. I could have given an entire lecture of 2-3 hrs in steps involved in growing the business but I rather avoided that answering by giving just a general overview to approach to generate sales.

Now by this time, I was thoroughly pestered by this HR Head – well a Head with no head on her shoulders. With me not showing major interest in responding to her stupid questions, she ultimately gave up. With a sign of relief on my face, I thought that now will be the opportunity for me to meet the owner of the company. But in turn, I was told that “we are evaluating many other candidates and will get back to you once there is any opportunity”. I was absolutely furious and was about to demand to meet the owner but later on thought that if the owner hires an HR Head like this, what could be his intellectual capabilities – don’t know… Had enough in that 2 hr session, and did not want to have much, I walked out of that office with a new experience.

I immediately called the Placement agent who fixed this appointment, initially thrashed her for wasting my time and then recommended not to suggest anybody for such a senior position in this organization. But while returning back to work from this interview, I could recollect the interview and see the funny part of it. Not sure who was the unfortunate candidate who was selected for this position but the position was kept vacant for more than 6 months and I was showered with emails from many other placement agencies for this vacancy.